Mom's Apple Crisp

Nothing says fall is here like apples! This is the first of the "Apple Series" here on the Honest Chef. Today we will be discussing apple crisp.

I love apple crisp because it reminds me of home. During the fall and winter, my mom always made apple crisp for dessert. She says she always makes it because it is easy. And this time, she was actually right (more often than not her "easy" recipes take me three hours during which I curse a lot). And let me tell you, her apple crisp is so delicious. I have had other "crisps" and "crumbles" but what makes my Mom's recipe awesome is not only that it is super easy, but that it is very sweet. In fact, I think that I inherited my sweet tooth from my mom. For example, this weekend when I was home, she was scooping spoonfuls of sugar onto her Life Cereal! Life Cereal is not cornflakes, I mean, you can see the sugar crystals on the pieces! But she likes her sugar. So do I.

The other thing I like about this crisp is that the apples really meld together and become nice and soft. The top gets really crispy and then the contrast is just awesome.

So here's the recipe. You will be super amazed at how easy and how awesome this is.

Mom's Apple Crisp

7 apples (a variety; and mom says don't use McIntosh)
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
1 stick butter (softened JUST A LITTLE BIT, so it's easier to crumble)

Preheat your oven to 375. Your first step is to core, peel, and slice the apples. I have a handy gadget for this, but you can do this by hand. I like to slice my apples pretty thin, so that each slice is about 1/4 inch thick and 1 inch long. I think this really lends the apples to becoming uniformly soft underneath the crust.

The second step is to put all of these into a 9x13 glass baking dish. You will see that the apples fill it up. This is good. When you're done, they will be shrunken to about half that size.

The third step is to get a big bowl, add your brown sugar, flour and stick of butter, and mix it all up until the butter is incorporated throughout (there should be small chunks of butter through the whole thing).

Pile this mixture on top of the apples, and put in oven for about 45 minutes. The crisp should be uniformly brown on the top (see below). You should also notice that the thickness of the crisp has shrunk to half its previous size.

And you're done! See, wasn't that simple? Four ingredients and three steps. Mom was not joking when she said it was easy. And I am not joking when I say it is the best apple crisp ever.

The tricks to remember are to make sure the butter is incorporated throughout the sugar and flour mixture, and to cut your apples thin. That's it! Enjoy.

The "Whoopsie" Pie

You may think because I post delicious looking things on this blog that I am now a seasoned cook and I really know what I'm doing. Guess again. This blog isn't called the Honest Chef for nothing. Last weekend I really messed up. You know those chocolate chip cookies? That everyone loves and always asks me to bring to things? Yes, friends, I messed those up. I have made them probably 100 times. I hope this makes you feel better about messing up in your own kitchen. I hope you aren't laughing at my idiocy instead. Well, even if you are, I will be vindicated by the great ending to this story, so read on.

Here's what happened. I was making chocolate chip cookies for a birthday party. I put in all the ingredients, one by one, measuring, etc. I was moving right along until I got to adding the chocolate chips, where I stopped. The dough just didn't look quite right to me. It looked too firm, and frankly, not like cookie dough. It tasted ok, but I could tell something was off. And then I noticed them. The TWO EGGS were sitting there on the counter, next to the beater, looking up at me and saying, "Yep, you forgot us down here." NOOOOO. I couldn't make them all over again! I didn't have any more butter, and I had used up the last of the vanilla extract. NOOOOO. And have I mentioned how much I hate to waste ingredients?

So what did I do? Why, called my mom of course. "Oh my god Mom, I am an idiot and forgot to add the eggs to my chocolate chip cookie dough. Is there any possible thing I can make with this wrecked dough?" She replied hesitantly that I could try to make a crust for some kind of pie. She wasn't sure it would work, but she too hates to waste ingredients, so I thought I'd give it a go.

But what kind of pie? Chocolate cream, replied my husband. Perfect! The cookies were supposed to have chocolate in them anyway, plus it didn't require a long cooking time (which was good because the party time was creeping up on us). So, we put a little bit on a cookie sheet and popped it in the oven to make sure that it would taste good once it was cooked. Miraculously, it did! Actually it was really good. But then I tried to roll out the dough into a pie crust shape. Forget it. I could get it to be thin, but it kept breaking apart. At this point, I was willing to do anything to get it into the pie plate, so I took all the small rolled out pieces, and pressed them together into the pie plate. Then I threw it in the oven at 375, and kept an eye on it until it turned brown.

Once it was ready, I took it out and put it into the freezer immediately. (If you ever want to make this and you have more time though, just let it cool regularly. I was desperate to finish). While this was happening, I made the instant chocolate pudding. After the pie shell had cooled sufficiently, I poured in the pudding, and let it sit in the fridge for another ten minutes. Then I topped it whipped cream, and voila! It was finished. Too bad I didn't know how it tasted. But no matter, we at least had something to bring to the party.

Well let me just tell you, that was the best freaking chocolate cream pie ever! Take that people who were laughing at me! The crust was so rich and delicious it was just awesome! People were talking about how good it was days later. I have to say, it was my best mistake ever. Or best recovery from a mistake. (Thanks Mom!) I might actually do this on purpose again sometime soon!

So, now you know that I make mistakes on things I have made a hundred times. And you might too, but the good news is that now, if you forget eggs in your chocolate chip cookies, you'll know what to do!

*P.S. The photo is not mine. I didn't take a picture because I thought it would be terrible. But it kind of looked like this. And a blog post is boring without a picture.

Summer Tomato Sauce

I have been getting many requests for "things to do with all the tomatoes I am getting." Some people seem to be luckier than me to have lots of tomatoes donated to them by their friends and co-workers. Maybe if this recipe is good enough you can introduce me to them.

The last days are summer are here, and so are the last fresh tomatoes of the season. So here's a simple recipe for sauce that can be made only with fresh, summer tomatoes. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try this with tomatoes from the supermarket or tomatoes out of season; farmer's market or garden tomatoes are the only ones that will work. Other, than that, there really isn't too much to the sauce. Our family learned this from one of my Italian relatives who makes this sauce all the time; she doesn't realize how delicious it is compared to what we are used to!

Summer Tomato Sauce (from Alessandra, a real Italian)

5-6 BIG tomatoes from the market (or 7-8 medium ones)
1/4 cup of olive oil
3 medium cloves of garlic, whole but peeled (see below for technique)
Fresh basil, about a handful, chopped not-too-small
Salt and pepper

The first step is to peel the tomatoes. I know this is not something we usually do here in America, but I guarantee you it makes a huge difference. No one likes getting stringy bits of skin in their tomato sauce. After peeling the tomatoes, core them, and dice them up. You will have a lot of tomatoes, so make sure you have a big enough bowl to put them in because there is a lot of liquid, and it will spill all over your whole kitchen if you just the cut tomatoes on the cutting board. (Yes, this happened to me.)

Once your tomatoes are prepped, put the oil in a large skillet that can accommodate all of those tomatoes. A skillet is important to use (rather than a sauce pan) because it allows more surface area, and therefore, the sauce can cook down more quickly while maintaining the fresh tomato flavor.

Next is where you need your garlic. The best way to peel a garlic clove is to smack it with the flat side of a chef's knife. For this technique you will need: 1. A 8" chef's knife. I would not recommend trying this with a smaller knife. 2. Force. 3. Courage. Put the whole unpeeled garlic clove on a flat surface (cutting board, counter). Hold the knife so the blade is flat (rotated 90 degrees from how you hold it when you are cutting). Put the thick part of the blade onto the top of the garlic, so it is just touching it and hold the handle firmly. Then take the heel of your other hand and SMACK DOWN right on top of the garlic. You must be forceful, and hold the knife tight. This seems scary at first, but it really is not, as long as you do it with confidence (no looking away in fear or anything like that! that is how you cut yourself.) Once you've practiced a few times, you'll use this trick a lot. It is way better than sitting there for 10 minutes trying to peel it with your fingers and then your fingers get all sticky and smell like garlic for the whole day. Knife technique is better.

Heat the olive oil over medium heat, and add the garlic cloves to the oil. Saute the garlic cloves until they become fragrant and start to brown. This usually takes me about 3 minutes. If they brown right away, it's too hot, so turn it down.

Once the garlic is ready, add all the tomatoes to the pan; keep on medium heat. Sprinkle a generous amount of salt onto the tomatoes in the skillet. Then stir once, just so all the tomatoes can get a little oil on them, press the tomatoes down so that they are in a flat layer, and do not stir anymore. Seriously. It is kind of the trick to this recipe. Leave it on medium for a while, as you see the tomato juices start to come out. This will be probably about 15-20 minutes. Do not stir.
It will look like this:

When you see the tomatoes have broken down a bit, and the liquid has been somewhat absorbed, you can turn the heat down so the sauce is just simmering. Keep it simmering for about 10-20 minutes more, until the "extra" liquid is just about cooked off. Then you add your basil, and stir lightly so that the basil is incorporated. Then 3 more minutes and it's done! Season with salt and pepper if you think it needs it. Tasting is always important. Here's the final product:


Now you're ready to add to your favorite pasta (I think it tastes great with spaghetti, fettuccine, or any of the longer pastas). You can also freeze this sauce, but I have to admit it just does not taste quite as good as it does when it is fresh.

Lots of fall recipes are coming up on the Honest Chef. But for now, enjoy the last of summer!

My Nemesis: Turkey Meatballs

As frequent readers may know, I try to eat healthy. Most of the time, this isn't too hard because lots of things that are good for you taste pretty good. However, there are two exceptions: baked goods, and meatballs. Baked goods I am willing to relegate to the "once in a while" category, but I refuse to believe that meatballs can only taste good with beef, veal or any such combination. And let me just say, Mr. Ground Turkey, you almost had me there.

I use ground turkey pretty much any time a recipe calls for ground beef: sloppy joes, tacos, meatloaf-- it makes a big difference in terms of health, and if you know how to flavor this stuff, makes very little difference in taste. Except when it comes to meatballs. My family loves meatballs. My mom makes great meatballs; we have a crock of them at every party. My grandmothers make great meatballs. And I use their recipes, with turkey. And they taste, well, terrible.

At first I thought, oh my god, what is wrong with me? How hard can it be to make a decent turkey meatball, I have made these like 25 times! Then one day, I just used ground beef to see if it really was my anti-intuition in the kitchen. And I discovered, it wasn't! The beef meatballs were delicious.

Well, now this made my problem more complex. I was more determined than ever to make a healthy meatball that tasted good. What did these have that my turkey ones didn't? Fat, yes that is the obvious answer. And I wasn't going to add fat to my turkey because that would defeat the purpose. It definitely wasn't salt or garlic, because I had added as much as possible to my turkey ones and they still were blah.

Suddenly, it hit me. It's the beef taste that's missing. If these could get the depth of beef flavor, without being beef--then we'd be onto something. First I thought of beef broth, but that kind of liquid in the meatballs is definitely a no. Then I had the only ever genius idea I have ever had in the kitchen--ever! Beef bullion cubes!

In case you didn't know, these are little cubes that you dissolve in boiling water to make beef broth. I had bought the package when I needed beef broth but the store didn't have any. This was the "beef" flavor, with no added fat at all!

I crushed up one cube (I found this best to do with a serrated knife; just start sawing), and mixed it into my usual meatball mixture. It made a huge difference; they tasted great. My husband even said, "Did you do something different? These are actually good!" Below is my turkey meatball recipe.

Turkey Meatballs
1 1/2 pounds (about) of ground turkey
1 egg
1 TBSP Parsley
1 small onion, chopped (smaller pieces are better)
1 big clove of garlic
1/4 grated parmesean cheese (optional)
1 beef bullion cube, crushed
Breadcrumbs (about 3/4 cup, but please, approximate! see below)
Makes about one dozen

Preheat oven to 425. Spray a glass casserole dish with pam, and set aside. Put all ingredients into a large bowl, but only 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs. Now, you gotta get your hands dirty, or should I say, one hand dirty. Mix with your non-dominant hand, and once everything is thoroughly combined, test to see if you grab a handful if it can stay in a ball without sticking to everything. If it cannot, you need more breadcrumbs. Use your clean hand to add more breadcrumbs 1/4 cup at a time. You shouldn't need more than 1 and a 1/2 so, keep that in mind. Then, take both hands and form into balls. Line up in the pan, and bake in your oven for about 35-40 minutes. They should be nice and brown on the outside, and you shouldn't see any pink juice coming from any. See also my tip below for testing doneness in turkey (and see photo below for a visual).



Tips for turkey meatballs:

1. These need to cook at a higher temperature, for longer than regular meatballs. This is because they must cook all the way through to be safe to eat (no one asks you for how you want your turkey cooked, right?). You should designate one as your "tasting meatball." You will need to cut it when you think it is done and look inside immediately. If you wait like, even 5 seconds, it will "cook" more and look brown when it is not really cooked. I get pretty panicky when I see pink turkey meat, so use this trick to avoid worrying about that.
2. If you want to save some, put them in the freezer in a ziplock bag once they have reached room temperature. To reheat, put them into the sauce while frozen and warm them up slowly over about 20 minutes while you're cooking your pasta.

So there you have it; tasty turkey meatballs. Share the secret with pride! (After all, it is the only original secret I have.)

The Best Banana Bread

I know you're thinking, the best banana bread? Really? Ok, well the real best banana bread is my Grandma's. But I don't want to make my Grandma's banana bread, because it never comes out the same. I swear she has some special Italian baking magic in her hands. And I can't teach you to make my Grandma's because, well, you'd need to know my Grandma.

So today we will discuss the best banana bread that I have made, to date. I really like banana bread because it is both delicious and resourceful. In my house, we buy bananas every week. I don't particularly like raw bananas. I try to convince myself that they taste good and are good for me, but I just don't like them. Maybe that's because I see what they could become if I leave them in the bowl until they are brown. And that is, delectable banana bread.

First, a tip. Let's say you have all these brown spotted bananas and you are like, there is no way in hell I am turning on the oven in this heat to make banana bread. Well that's ok, because you can just toss them into the freezer, and use them whenever you do feel like making banana bread. Do not get frightened when you open up the freezer later and they are totally black; the inside will be just fine once it is thawed.

Ok, so back to the actual bread. I love sweet banana bread; I want it to be sugary, and I don't want to have to add anything to it when I eat it like butter or jelly or whatever. And if you know me you know that I love anything sugary. So this recipe for banana bread, with Cinnamon Crumble Topping is exactly what I like; and I'm willing to bet it will be exactly what you like too. I got this recipe from Bon Appetit, by way of the fabulous food blog, Orangette. It is moist, sweet and easy to bake. So here we go.

Banana Bread with Cinnamon Crumble Topping

Bread:
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 cup mashed ripe banana (3 should do the trick)
2 large eggs
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup honey
¼ cup water

For topping:
1 1/2 Tbsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 1/2 Tbsp. brown sugar

Preheat the oven to 350° F. You will want an apx 9X5 inch bread pan for this. If you go larger, the loaf will be a bit shorter; don't go smaller, or it will overflow. Spray this with cooking spray, use parchment paper, or if you want to get really fancy, coat with butter and then flour. (I really don't like this technique, but I suppose it is the "proper way").

Now you have your typical "wet" ingredients in one bowl, "dry" in another. This is pretty common in baking, and it's always good to recognize patterns. So, in a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. In different bowl, whisk together the banana, eggs, oil, honey, and water (this bowl will be holding all your ingredients, so make it big). Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, and stir well. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan. This batter will be pretty liquidy, like a cake batter.

In a small bowl, mix together the topping ingredients. Sprinkle them evenly over the batter.

Bake the bread until a tester inserted into its center comes out clean, about 1 hour for a metal pan, give or take a little (I had to take about 15 more because my pan was ceramic). Cool the bread in the pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes. Then carefully remove the bread from the pan, and be careful of the topping. Cool completely before slicing.

The thing about banana bread is, there are only a few rules you need to follow, and really everything comes together on its own.

Rule 1: Do not mash bananas until they are banana juice. Just, mashed bananas.
Rule 2: Do not overmix the dry into the wet. Of course, you want to see no evidence of flour or other dry ingredients, but don't go whisking it up til you see bubbles.
And, the hardest rule of all...
Rule 3: WAIT. You just have to wait until it cools, or everything will go terribly wrong. I have definitely ruined a loaf by waiting say, only ten minutes before trying to take it out of the pan. I have ruined another by trying to cut it when it is "nice and hot" because it might taste better right? Wrong. Let it cool. Reheat it later if you want. The reason? Well, one, it will fall apart and you will cry because all of your hard work is in pieces, and two, it won't taste quite right. It's got to all settle and assimilate together. So let it.

As you can see from the picture below, this banana bread (on the right) is slightly darker than most, so don't worry if it is dark, that does not mean you burned it. It means success! Delicious sugary banana success!

So go ahead, let those bananas in the fruit bowl go rotten. Everyone, even Grandma, will thank you later.

How to "Take Out" at Home; the story of Udon Noodles

Udon noodles. Up until about a year and a half ago, I didn't even know what they were. I was at my in-laws', and my father in law had picked up the recipe and put it in his weekly rotation; as it was one of his favorites, he made it for us. He already knew how to stir-fry from growing up in Hawaii, and he created his own version using udon noodles. He shared the recipe with us, and I'm going to share my version of that version with you. Udon noodles are almost like lo mein noodles, but they are thicker, and absorb more liquid when cooked. You can get them dried, just like spaghetti, or you may be lucky enough to find fresh ones at your grocery store. Either kind work fine for this recipe.

Now that I know what udon noodles are, and how to stir fry them, they have become one of my favorite meals. I have expressed my dislike for stirfry and other things "over rice" but substituting noodles for rice instantly makes a stirfry a million times better. And if you are like me, and crave take out Chinese sometime, this is a much more delicious and healthy way to satisfy that.

The only special equipment you will need for this is a large deep frying pan. If you have a wok, that is great. I don't. I just have a big frying pan. And it works fine. I am sure some purists of Asian cooking will scoff, but, seriously, no wok, no problem.

Udon Noodle Stir Fry

1 breast of boneless skinless chicken, cut into bite-size pieces
1 clove of garlic, minced or pressed through a garlic press
1 small onion, cut into eighths
3/4 pound of udon noodles
1/4 cup, plus 1 TBSP of soy sauce
3 TBSP of oil (canola is good, but olive oil works too)
1 cup of chopped fresh broccoli
1 cup of snow peas
2 eggs scrambled
* feel free to add any other vegetables you like: asparagus, red peppers, etc.

Start by marinating your chicken pieces in 1 TBSP of soy sauce and the garlic. You'll want this to sit for about 15 minutes. While this is marinating, heat up a pot of water for the udon noodles. You can cook these just like spaghetti; wait til the water is boiling, and then throw them in. But note! These cook faster than spaghetti. Check them after 3 minutes (for dried, earlier for fresh; fresh pasta always cooks faster).
While the marinating and heating of the water is going on, chop your veggies, and scramble your eggs in a separate pan. (I just take the two eggs, mix them together with a fork, pour into a small frying pan, and move them around with a rubber spatula until they are cooked through.)

Now, get out your large wok/frying pan. Heat 2 TBSP of oil in the pan, keeping the heat on med-high. Once it is nice and hot, add the chicken and all the marinade to the pan. Cook for 2 minutes, and then add the raw onion. Cook these two together until the chicken is cooked through.

The one big challenge with this dish is adding the ingredients in such an order that they all get the proper cooking time for their thickness and desired crunch. You want the chicken to cook the longest, then the onions, then the broccoli, because it will take a few minutes to cook through, and at the last minute, thinner vegetables, like snow peas. Asparagus would go in with broccoli; thinly sliced peppers with the peas. You don't want soggy broccoli or floppy snow peas. Part of the deliciousness of this dish is the contrast in texture, and it won't be half as enjoyable if it's all just squooshy. And this has happened to me quite a few times, so learn from my mistakes.

So here's the assembly. You have your chicken and onions. Then toss in the broccoli and cook for one minute. Then add your cooked udon noodles on top, with the remaining oil and half of the remaining soy sauce (3 TBSP). Stir this around, so that all of the protein and vegetables are incorporated in the noodles, and the soy sauce is evenly distributed.

You want to use your muscles here; you need to mean it when you stir these ingredients, or you'll have a big sticky mess of noodles. To avoid this, I use two techniques. The first is to drain the noodles quickly and then add them right to the wok. If you leave the cooked noodles to the side while you are preparing other things, the starch in them will cause them to become really sticky, and hard to undo, though not impossible. The other technique is to make myself taller. If you are short like me, you might want to use a step stool so you can stand over that big pan and toss everything together thoroughly. You will be surprised how much easier this is. It is also very easy to recruit your 6 foot husband for the job.

After this step, add your snow peas, your scrambled egg, and the remaining soy sauce. Stir around and incorporate 1-2 more minutes until the peas turn a bright green. And that green, my friends, means you're ready to eat!

You can change up the protein and the veggies to suit your liking. Just remember to toss in your ingredients in the order of needed cooking time, and you'll be master of the udon noodle!

Chicken Marsala

Sometimes I feel like there is a lack of real recipes for "boneless skinless chicken breasts," and frankly, this is the meat that I eat most often. The plus side is that the meat is healthy, but the other side of that is that it can be pretty bland. The technique I see in recipes most often is just a basic saute or grill of a chicken breast with salt and pepper on it. Now, really, can anyone be fooled that that will taste good, no matter what sauce you put on it afterwards?

No. If you want a quick chicken dish for boneless breasts, chicken marsala is the way to go. This is one of my favorite dishes to make, and also one of my favorites to serve at a small dinner party. The recipe is so simple it is magical. The one thing you need that you might not have in your kitchen is a bottle of marsala wine. Marsala is an Italian wine from Sicily that has a sweet taste, and though in Italy it can be used as an aperitif, here it is used as a cooking wine--an excellent one I might add. You can buy it in the grocery store in the "cooking wine" section, or in your local wine store. It shouldn't be too expensive (my grocery store charges $6, and you can make the dish at least 4 times with one bottle). You can store the bottle in your cabinet for a month or two after it has been opened.

This wine is what gives the chicken its unique flavor. In a pinch you can use another white wine, and it will be a good dish, but not as amazing as the marsala.

Here's what you need:

3 boneless skinless chicken breasts, sliced horizontally (so they are thin)
1/2 c of flour, for coating
2-3 TBSP olive oil (for sauteing)
1 1/2 c of sliced mushrooms
3/4 c of marsala (eyeball it, see below)
1 TBSP of chopped fresh rosemary (dried is ok too, use half as much)
Salt and pepper to taste

And here's how you make it:

Heat 2 TBSP of olive oil in a large skillet on medium heat. If you don't have one that will fit all 6 halves of the chicken, you will have to work in two skillets at once (you can do it!) or in batches. While the oil is heating up, coat the chicken in flour. When the oil is hot enough, put the chicken in (it should sizzle). Keep the chicken cooking on that side until it is nicely browned and crisped. Like this:


Then flip the chicken. If the skillet needs more oil, add the additional tablespoon (the skillet above needs more, for example). Once the chicken is nicely browned on the other side, throw in the mushrooms, and then add about half of the marsala. The heat should stay on medium here. You will want to push the mushrooms into the marsala every minute or so, because you want them evenly cooked. As the mushrooms start to cook, add the rosemary.

Flip the chicken over after about 2-3 minutes. You will notice it has taken on a "soaked quality" which is exactly what you want, on the side that was underneath. Cook keep cooking the chicken until the sauce boils down until it is thickened (It shouldn't take too long). Try not to turn the chicken again, because the flour will be heavy with the marsala wine, and might fall off. And this means the flavor will fall off as well. Add salt and pepper to your tastes (try the sauce).

As soon as the sauce is thickened, serve it, as is! It should look like this:

Just slide the chicken onto the plate, and pour the mushroom marsala goodness onto it. You're done! It is so fast and so flavorful. Trust me, the ease and taste of this dish will make it part of your weekly rotation.

The keys to this dish are:

1. Once the marsala is in the dish, don't turn the chicken over more than once. This way the coating will stay on the chicken.

2. Wait until the sauce thickens before serving the dish. The thickening happens because of the flour on the chicken, so it will happen, don't worry. (If you really want to speed it up, turn up the heat, but watch it carefully!)

3. Serve immediately. This is not one of those dishes that you want hanging around for 15 minutes in the pan. However, if your timing is off (mine always is) and the potatoes still aren't cooked or something, leave it in the pan and just before serving add a tad more marsala, and turn on the heat again. When the added marsala is thickened, serve.

Chicken breasts are no longer boring. Thank you Sicily!